Living at Home

So about 3 weeks ago I moved back home. So far, it has been awesome! I'm absolutely loving being with my family and having free everything. But just like everything in life it does have it's down sides, too.

So here it is,

the Thumbs UP and Thumbs DOWN of living at home.

THUMBS DOWN: Although I haven't actually spotted a spider yet..I know they are there. I absolutely loved not having to deal with that back in my apartment.

THUMBS UP: If I ever do find a spider I have 3 brothers, 1 mom, and 1 dad that will kill it for me. (don't think my roommates would've helped with that haha)

THUMBS DOWN: I don't have a pool and sand volleyball court right below my window.

THUMBS UP: I live 15 minutes away from work and no longer have to deal with provo traffic

THUMBS UP: My mom makes me breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

THUMBS UP: I get woken up by my little sisters who are super excited for school (so cute even if it is interrupting my dream)

THUMBS UP: FREE RENT

THUMBS UP: I like to clean but I absolutely despise cleaning checks...Don't get any ideas Mom.

THUMBS DOWN: I miss the late night hangouts with my fellow Crestwoodians

THUMBS UP: My room is ballin.

Well I think the Thumbs Up wins it.

Living at home is awesome. I love my family and couldn't be more blessed to have them and so many others in my life. I have a great neighborhood who is excited to see me and even lets me join the neighborhood crossfit workouts. (I am sooooo sore)

And for the ultimate thumbs up:

ITS GAMEDAY.

#utenation

I can accept failure

Do you know who said that?

Michael Jordan.

"I can accept failure, everyone fails at something. But I can't accept not trying."

"I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed it. I've failed over and over in my life and that's why I succeed."

Why did I start with this?

I had to write a paper the other day and it was about a theory that people will never know what right is unless they do wrong or that they won't know what happiness is until they know sadness. I agree with that for the most part (ex. I know smoking is bad without having to try it). If you didn't read my post about me opening up and my competitiveness, read that first (its called What doesn't kill you makes you stronger)

I have a problem with being too competitive. I sometimes view losing or failure as weakness. With the olympics going on, I got thinking about their individual stories. How they got there, where they came from, etc. I've learned about LoLo Jones (USA runner) who ran a perfect race before hitting her knee on the very last hurdle which made her stumble and put her from 1st place to not medaling.

Watch this video.

Pretty crazy video right? Crazy to think that people who are the furthest thing from failures, world reknowned, world champions, US Presidents, etc. at one time failed miserably. At some point in their life they were told they were cut out for their dream, that they weren't good enough, etc. I don't think anybody would tell Walt Disney that he isn't creative NOW. 

How many times have we been told this?

So what makes us scared to fail? Maybe it'll hurt. If we look at all these examples of people that failed, they all got back up maybe multiple times and turned that failure into a stepping stone. A stepping stone over the wall that gets us to our goal or dream. When they got knocked down going up one way they got back up and found a different route. So each time they failed they became stronger.

And so must we.

We are here for a reason. Each of us has a purpose, a talent to share, there is something in everyone that is great.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

LOVE that quote.

Let us all have the courage to take a step into the unknown.

To dream BIGGER.

To put our heart out there.

To not accept no for an answer.

To get back up after falling flat on our face.

Because only then are we truly succeeding.

Make goals, do goals.

So it feels like New Years resolutions are so cliche. People always want to lose weight and travel the world. But do they? No. They may go to the gym for like a month..and then they wait until next January. P.S. This is why gyms are so successful, scams.

I always viewed it as something that was stupid, really. But this year I learned something new. A member of the bishopric in my singles ward gave a talk on New Years resolutions and told us about how he does which changed my whole view on them and I now incorporate it in my life.

He said that he makes a few goals in 3 areas:

Spiritual

Physical

Mental

So that's what I did this year and it has been so much fun! I remember each of them and it works great because they are goals that I can do throughout the changes in life. So I didn't tell you about them back in January but now that I've accomplished most of them, I wanted to share.

Marlisa's 2012 New Years Resolutions:

Spiritual: 

- Read the Book of Mormon

- Finish my goal of doing baptisms in every Utah temple

Physical:

- Take better care of myself (hair, makeup, dress, etc)

- Get in better physical shape

Mental:

- Pass all of my classes, get on track for Associates Spring 2013

And then I also made the goal to become better at cooking which could go under Mental but I'm not sure. But I have got better at that one. Not as good as I can be but I have officially used my crockpot for a ward activity and man was it the bomb.com, not gonna even be humble about it.. I make a mean bbq pulled roast.

Anyways, if you've been following my posts this year you know that my skin has cleared up, I feel like I dress better, and I just learned how to do my makeup like legit - says the tomboy haha But I also feel like I've gotten in pretty good shape. I haven't been running as much but I've been playing sand volleyball or basketball literally every night. I even ran some pretty cool races this year!

I am about to get a 4.0 this summer semester and am still on track to get that associates! Annnnddd I can't forget the best thing ever...I passed my last math class this last spring. Booyah, bu-bye math.

A couple nights ago I finished the Book of Mormon. Best book ever, I love it. It honestly took me going to New York and all the feelings I felt in Palmyra to have a deep love for the scriptures. It's not like I didn't like them before but now I LOVE them. I am grateful to Joseph Smith and all his many sacrifices for the church to make it so we could be where we are at today.

So that just leaves the temples goal. The temples I have left are Salt Lake, Oquirrah Mountain, Logan, Bountiful, Vernal, Ogden, and Monticello...so pretty much all of them haha. I better hurry too because soon I'll have two more temples to add to the list with Payson and the Provo Tabernacle Temples going up.

Just thought I would share that in case someone else found that more helpful than writing down goals that never get done. It's so much easier this way and they are things that you can do even when life changes as the year pans out. 

Life's good, Happy Saturday :)

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

Watch.

I love that song, even though its way over played on the radio, just for the lyrics and more specifically the title:

WHAT DOESN'T KILL YOU MAKES YOU STRONGER.

Life can be brutal sometimes, throwing things in every which way. People especially can be rude, thoughtless, selfish, etc. Even the world is starting to become a scary place. But through all this and all that has been going on lately I've found peace knowing "This too shall pass" and that from these times I'm just getting stronger.

You see, I'm the most competitive person you'll ever meet. Sometimes that is a positive thing, for example, when people challenge me or tell me I can't do something fuels me unlike anything else and I end up succeeding in something I may have never tried if they hadn't done that. But sometimes it isn't the best thing and has left it's mark and definitely shaped my personality.

I had a friend 'evaluate' me recently, telling me straight up what they thought of me i.e. things I was good at, things I needed to work on, how I reacted with situations, etc. I've never been more grateful for someone being bluntly honest before. It was humbling for sure. Out of all the many things they told me one stuck out in particular: "You need to let people in and help you"

It's true. It's not that I don't let people in because I don't trust them or whatever, I've been hurt and I've been heartbroken but I've always come out happier and stronger than before and I'm not afraid to put myself out there again and again because I believe that to not do so would be to empower the person who hurt you. That will be another post for another day..

But I don't let people in because I think that it's a weakness somehow to show that your not doing good and that it's just going to be a burden to someone else to have to help me or see my problems. And weakness of course is something that I fight because I am so competitive. I consider myself pretty confident but let's be honest, I'm still human and I'm very much a female, thus, I still have insecurities.

So here it is, this is my first step at opening up and by showing weakness hoping that that as well, becomes stronger.

I am insecure about how other people perceive themselves. I hate when people tell me that I'm too skinny and shove food at me because they don't feel confident with their body type. It actually hurts.

My greatest fear is to be unable to save my family from anything..thus, natural disasters are my greatest fear. I can step in front of a bullet, I can give blood, etc. but I can't stop a tornado or stop my house from falling down in an earthquake.

I hate rumors and gossiping. I can handle someone not liking me but when they go around to others (especially people I know) and tell them stories (true or untrue) about me it's like this awful feeling in the pit of my stomach knowing they have a pre-conceived notion of me that may not be true so I automatically put up the walls.

I don't feel like I have been a good enough role model to a few people in my life and that hurts because I can't go back and change things.

I tease. It's just what I do but it can often be taken the wrong way and I'm trying to work on that. Sometimes I take it too far (just ask my siblings) or I say things that could've been worded better so if I've ever offended you, please forgive me. Just know, if I'm teasing you it means we're good friends.

Exception: if you start something first that has to do with hurting/taking bad about family and/or friends or if your just picking a fight (good example: byu and Utah, everyone loves to fight with me on that one) you are officially signing off that I am now allowed to let the filter go and I no longer take responsibility for hurt feelings. But lets be honest, we'll probably still be good friends.

Well that's all for now. That actually felt kinda good. Now, don't take this post in the wrong way. I'm not writing this for attention or to have someone give me compliments because like I said, I feel comfortable in my own skin. I am just trying to become better by being open about weakness and accepting that so that I can work on those things. This was probably a lot of jibberish haha but thanks for reading.

I have been blessed to be surrounded by the greatest people my whole life. I have always had great friends who know me and let me be me even though I come with many quirks. I love people, I love learning about others and what made them the way they are so now I'm doing that in return by opening up and letting people do the same.

Hope everyone is having a great day :)

P.S.

if you didn't see my countdowns..see it here..there is now 6 days!!!!